Let's Try This Again

We're almost coming up on two years since I last posted and it's amazing to me to think that that much time has really gone by. To think of what has happened that I haven't shared and why I haven't  shared. I loved blogging, it was for me and those I care about who live far away to stay involved in what we were doing. So why did I stop? Life. Its an easy answer really but one that has so many layers too. Life is busy and overwhelming and all encompassing. We had our fourth baby almost 2 years ago which is exciting and yet also almost brings a tear to my eyes, how is she already so big and almost 2?! Didn't I just have her, didn't she just join this crazy family of ours? I've been enveloped in the role of mother and now that our youngest is just starting to grow up I can see a light at the end of the tunnel. I feel like I can now tread water and expand my title from mother to anything else I might want. My problem is that I don't know what else I want my title to be. I love being a mother but it is a time consuming job and I have given it my all to the point that I don't even remember who I was before I had children. How did I let that happen? I have found joy in being a mother that I know I would be unable to find anywhere else and my role as a mother will never be gone but as my children get older and their dependence on me changes I find myself able to have time for myself and I don't know how to fill it. I know I'm not alone, that there are so many other women who feel the same way I do. Our lives are amazing because they are always changing and evolving as we leave different phases and then begin new ones. I am slowly entering into a new phase and I'm excited to see where it takes me and my family. Change is scary but its so worth it to see where it can lead us. I've been confident in who I am and I still am confident in who I am but I'm excited and nervous to grow and rediscover what I love besides just being a mom.

I love this picture of my sweet family even though it was taken when our youngest was only 7 months old and we are fast approaching her second birthday. These people make my life so much sweeter and they are my biggest cheerleaders so wherever this life takes me I know I can accomplish anything with them by my side.