What I Know

Its 6:30 in the morning and I'm wide awake, I've been in one of my reflecting moods again and I kept writing this post in my head so I thought I better just get up and do it. There are many people who think those who believe in God are weak and naive and they feel sorry for us that we've been coned into believing in a religion. But the same is true of how I think of them. I feel sorry for them that they are left going through this life believing there isn't a God. That they have let the world convince them that they are weak and naive if they do believe in a loving Heavenly Father. I do believe in God and I am in no way weak or naive. I can't imagine how lost I would feel if I didn't know that there is a God. I would be terrified living my life if I had no knowledge of a life after this one. I would be terrified of death if I though after my life was over there was nothing. I know life isn't perfect, that we have hardships and that is a reason people question if there is a God. I think its a way we can tell there is one. What would be the point of being here if we didn't have trials? If life was perfect it would be so boring. I look back on my life and I'm grateful for all the things that have gone wrong, that are considered trials because they've helped me become the person I am today. I have learned things about myself that I would never have known. They have helped me grow closer to my Heavenly Father and they have taught me to rely on him. I could see how that might not be the same with others, I'm a fairly optimistic person not necessarily while I'm going through my trials but as a whole I think I have a very positive outlook on life. This might make some think I've never really had anything really bad happen to me and I would have to agree with them. In comparison to some I really haven't had anything horribly bad happen in my life but in comparison to others I have.
So what brought on this jumble of thoughts? Well its because of the man standing on my right.

This is the last picture I took with my Grandpa McCombs back when I was pregnant with Olivia. I did get to see him once after when Olivia was 6 months old but sadly didn't get a picture with him. My grandpa died last Monday and this past week has been spent reflecting. I was incredibly busy this past week what with Thanksgiving on Thursday and I was hosting it and feeding 14 people. I quite enjoyed how hectic my week was because it only left minimal time for me to remember that he had died and then I didn't spend the whole week crying. I'd just tear up every now and again as I remember something about him or realize that I wouldn't be able to attend his funeral which is starting in half an hour. It is times like this why I am beyond grateful that I know there is a God, that I know there is a life after this one, and that I will see my grandpa again.
My grandpa was one of the VERY few people that I allowed to call me Jill really my dad is the only other person I can tolerate using that name. Whenever I'd come to there house I remember seeing my grandpa sitting in his room and as soon as he'd see me he'd start rocking his chair to help him get up. He'd come right out and give a smile that said to me, you've been missed and I love you so much. Watching him interact with my girls was a real joy. I could tell he didn't always know what to do with them but he loved watching them and he gave them the same smile he'd give me. My grandpa grew up in a time where dad's weren't as involved so he wasn't either but he was always present. I knew how much he loved me, I could see how he adored my grandma. I remember him taking us out to eat, I remember the sense of pride he'd have when he'd introduce me to people. I remember the good things about him and that's how I want it to stay, that's how I'll talk about him to my children. I love him and I miss him but I know we will meet again.