My big ol' belly at 33 weeks
I tell you this pregnancy is just so different for me! I was the sickest I've ever been, this girl of ours is so strong already that she hurts me when she kicks! Seriously people I have to do breathing exercises sometimes its ridiculous. I'm huge! Each time I have a baby I just get bigger and bigger its crazy, a plus is I can still see my ankles which is AMAZING! Nesting has also been super different for me this time around. I'm a big planner/organizer and usually I start nesting in my second trimester until I pop out my baby. Not this time...I'm actually still waiting to start the nesting thing. Don't get me wrong I totally feel the need and see the importance of getting a lot of things done but I'm just not feeling it. I have no motivation to actually get started. When I make myself do something I feel that wonderful sense of accomplishment but it takes a lot to motivate me. Its just so not me and it feels weird to be totally honest. I made myself go buy some things today that we'll need for when the baby comes, you know like some nursing pads and bottles and such. I've also started making freezer meals since I have no idea what to expect after this girl comes. Oh and have I mentioned we have no idea what we're naming her either?! That fact alone is killing me and so unlike the other girls. We had their names picked out before we were even pregnant and with this little girl I feel at a loss. No name gives me that overwhelming feeling of yes baby girl that is your name, that is who you are like I had with the other two. We've been calling her a name since May and I like it but I won't even commit to it enough to say it on our blog for goodness sakes. I think part of my nesting problems is I actually feel very overwhelmed about having our third now that we're almost 4 weeks away. I've slowly realized how really alone we are here. Don't get me wrong we have some wonderful friends who have made it very clear that they are more then willing to help in any way we need but the majority of our family and our closest friends all live in different states. This is a first for us and I'm realizing how I really need to be on top of as many things now as I can to save my sanity after this baby comes. Especially since Jacob starts back at school the week after my due date, that means that once he starts school he'll be gone from 5:30am-9:30pm Monday thru Friday. It makes me a bit nervous to be alone with all 3 girls that much and still remain sane and on top of things. I sound like such a Debbie downer don't I?! Its how I deal with some situations in all honestly, I try and expect the worse so that I'm either mentally prepared or so that the situation exceeds my expectations. It works for me so I keep doing it and if you know me at all you know I am typically VERY optimistic. So now you all know the truth, I'm feeling overwhelmed and a bit nervous about the changes coming up in our family. Deep down I know everything will be fine, I'm beyond excited to meet this little girl that is beating me up from the inside, and I'm so excited that our family is growing but I'm also a bit nervous. Life is full of mystery and we never quite know what's ahead, all we can do is push forward with faith, trust in ourselves and the Lord and know that all will be well.
First - I love that adorable belly of yours! Second - I didn't nest as much with #3 because I think I realized they don't need all the stuff...a few blankets, diapers and wipes, mommy and baby is good to go. I know you and I know you will do awesome, your sanity on the other hand may need to take a short vacation, but it will come back ;) And just so you feel better about baby girls name - I chose Violet's name about two weeks before she arrived, the name we had picked earlier never felt right so I changed our minds at the last minute. Whatever you name her will be perfect.
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