The Story of Olivia

So this post might be quite lengthy...I forgot that I said I would blog about the birth of Olivia and now she's almost 6 weeks old. So without further adieu here is the story of Olivia.
Once upon a crappy nights sleep on the 28th of July I woke with a start...literally. I had gotten up for one of my usual bathroom trips around 1:30 am and around 1:50 I suddenly woke up and knew something was about to happen and all of the sudden my water broke. Now with Savannah my water didn't on its own so I didn't know what to expect if it broke. I was not prepared for what happened because I didn't know I could hold that much fluid. I basically yelled for Jacob to get me a towel which was startling for him since he was sound asleep next to me in bed. He grabs me a towel and then looks at why I need it, he then proceeds to say, "couldn't you have waited till later for this to happen." I replied by giving him a dirty look. We had already arranged to have Jacob's mom come take care of Savannah when I went into labor so Jacob called her while I attempted to clean myself up. Jacob's mom arrived around 3 and at this point I really wasn't having any contractions so we decided to wait a bit before going to the hospital. Around 4 I woke Jacob back up and told him I was having contractions every 5 minutes apart so we should head over to the hospital. His mom was asleep in Savannah's room so we just left and figured she'd know where we were. We drove over to the hospital and got all checked in where they tell me I'm only dilated to a 1. That's right a 1! At this point its about 5 am and I'm having contractions every 3 minutes apart. When I get checked again around 7 I'm at a 4 but my contractions have slowed down to like every 10 minutes. The nurse tells me that if I want an epidural I better get it now before surgery's start and that I'm going to be stared on pitocin unless my contractions start to pick up. I ask for my epidural. I loved my anesthesiologist he did a great job, much better then my first one with Savannah even though that was pretty good too. This time though both my legs were numb instead of just my right one. I had also decided that I wanted Jacob's two sisters Jodi and Jeni with me during labor and delivery so Jacob gave them a call and over they came. Jeni was with me when I had Savannah but this was the first time Jodi was with me during delivery. I think she felt a bit helpless because I'm pretty low key during my deliveries. Jodi was awesome at asking the nurse questions and trying to find ways to make me more comfortable. Both of the girls did an awesome job at making me feel like a superstar and that I was doing a fantastic job. I stopped progressing so I was started on pitocin and that did the trick, at 11 the nurse said I was almost ready to start pushing and Jodi started taking bets on how long I'd have to push. Now when I had Savannah I pushed for and hour and a half so when Jodi guessed 15 minutes Jeni, Jacob, and I though she was crazy, we all though between 30 minutes to an hour. Needless to say, I started pushing at 11:15 and had Olivia out at 11:30. When I was pushing I kept saying I don't think I'm doing this right, I don't feel like I'm pushing the way I'm suppose to but I was wrong. Olivia ended up weighing 7 lbs 5 oz and was 19 in long, the exact same measurements as Savannah.

I of course fell in love with her as soon as I saw her. I will be honest that it wasn't as overwhelming as when I had Savannah. Now don't get me wrong I totally love Olivia, but I remember with Savannah I was amazed at how much I loved her as soon as she was born. I had never felt that way before and it surprised me. Maybe it wasn't as overwhelming because it wasn't a new feeling, it was a love that I had experienced before. Sometimes though I do feel guilty, that I might not love Olivia as much as Savannah. Although as I've though about this more and prayed about it I've been happy to discover that as the days go by I have felt more equality in how I love my girls. I don't know if this is because I've always felt that way and I'm just realizing it or if it just took me a bit longer to make room for Olivia but I'm glad that I've been able to recognize how much I love her. It also made me feel better because when I told Jacob how I felt he said he felt the same way. Anyway...we brought Olivia home on the 29th and thankfully my mom came on the 30th. I was so grateful that she was able to come out and stay with us for 2 weeks. Its always bitter sweet when my mom comes because I love having her here but the time always goes by so fast and then I'm so sad when she has to leave. She was such a great help and even though I'm sure she felt like she wasn't always needed she was. The day she left was horrid and I just cried and cried after Jacob took her to the airport, poor Savannah didn't know what to do. She kept telling me that I was ok and she kept giving me hugs, she really is a sweet heart.
These past 6 weeks have been a whirlwind of emotions and new experiences. I've taken the girls on errand runs and even been alone with them for an entire weekend. I've had meltdowns and experience unthinkable joy as I've spent these weeks relearning how to be a mom. I've felt inadequate and like I can't handle two kids so how can I even think of having more one day. I've also experienced glimpses of happiness as I see Savannah kiss her sister and worry over her when she cries.

When Savannah expresses excitement when she see's her sister after she's been away from her. I've also been able to see Jacob grow more as he takes on more responsibilities at home. I've felt the love of my Savior as I express my feelings of inadequacy to him and he has blessed me with these moments that let me know I'm doing a good job and I can do it. I love being a mom, I've always wanted to be a mom, and I'm grateful for this time when I can learn to be an even better mom.
Today in church we blessed Olivia, it was quite nice and Jacob did a great job. Olivia wore the same dress Savannah did which also happens to be my blessing dress. I'm so grateful for the gospel of Jesus Christ, that I don't have to go through this world alone. That I have the Priesthood in my home and that I'm able to raise my children in the gospel. I'm grateful that Jacob and I were married in the temple, that because of that we are married for eternity, not just for this life. That our children are ours for eternity, what amazing blessings.
So how does the story of Olivia end...well we won't know for some time but I'm thinking we'll all live happily ever after.